The Emotionality of Writing
An interview with New York Times bestselling author Jami Attenberg.
I’ve been telling stories since I was a young child. Before I even acquired the skills of reading and writing, I was telling stories during sleepovers, recording tall tales on my grandma’s tape recorder, and even rehearsing poems while playing solo. My wild imagination was often fueled by my emotional experiences and events I observed through my family and friends, and even by what I saw on movies and TV shows. To this day, I contribute my growth (as a writer) to the emotionality of writing and the exploration of other cultures (through travel) which has inspired deep self-reflection. It’s these elements that have made me a much better writer, and often what I seek in the books I read, or the authors I follow.
A few years ago, I came across Jami Attenberg’s vulnerable memoir ‘I Came All This Way to Meet You: Writing Myself Home.’ I purchased the novel for my Master’s dissertation while looking for unique perspectives on the writing process and quickly found I couldn’t put it down. Her journey has been shaped by the unpredictableness of being and her lifelong yearning for independence and community. Something I know all too well and have often blamed on my astrological signs. (I wish I were kidding) As the daughter of a traveling salesman, Jami reflects (in her memoir) on how wanderlust played an integral part in her creative process. Something that not only deeply spoke to me but resonated with many others. Since then, I have read many of Jami’s fiction novels and have found that her honest, witty, and relatable voice is powerfully present in all her work. Her prose often leaves the reader in their feels - an incredible example of emotive writing.
When I was presented with the opportunity to interview Jami - before the release of her tenth book, ‘A Reason to See You Again -’ I was thrilled. I knew I had to ask questions based on emotionality and how boundaries and traditions play a part in her writing process.
So, without further ado, I’m happy to share with you a short but special interview with New York Times bestselling author — and creator of #1000wordsofsummer — Jami Attenberg below. I hope you enjoy it!
Jami: “There are things that I have known about, witnessed, researched, gossiped about, eavesdropped on that have found their way into my books in one way or another. We can both actively and passively receive information and not recognize or realize where or how it ends up in our work. Things that happened to me twenty years ago could just be showing up now. It's what you do with it, how you handle it, what your intentions are with your work that is maybe more interesting or controllable to me. Most of what I write is about me trying to solve a problem or answer a question, so in that way, it is helpful emotionally. But I don't know if I would necessarily consider my work healing. But it's part of what keeps me stable.”
Jami: “Well, I'm usually writing a little bit every day, even if it's just in my journal. I have tried to give myself two days off a week even if those days don't always fall on the traditional weekend. But writing is just so seamless with my existence at this point. My brain is always chewing on a writing problem, too.
I think one really specific boundary that I've created is that I don't always have to answer every email or DM that is sent to me. I try to answer a lot but also if I don't, that's fine too. It's just not possible to exchange pleasantries or ideas with every person who shows up in my inbox, though I hope everyone knows I wish them well and there's certainly no harm in trying to connect. (And I might even suggest that letter writing is a great exercise!) Anyway, that's not part of my writing routine but it is part of being a writer, and also steering the ship of an online community.”
Jami: “This is a nice question! I always wished I celebrated more. I feel like I'm always onto the next project so quickly that it's hard for me to contemplate success in the moment. I will sometimes go out to dinner or have a drink with a friend when the finished version of the book shows up, just so I can show it off to someone. I also have had some jewelry made to wear when I go on book tour. So it's nice to honor my art in that way. But I think because there is always a book tour and a party or two coming when I publish a book, that's the celebration I look forward to. (And I've done this ten times! So that's a lot of celebrating.) But it's not always intimate, and I appreciate those moments just as much as the big event.”
Thank you, Jami!
Feel free to share your answers - on boundaries, traditions, or how emotion drives your writing - in the comment section below.
Jami Attenberg is the New York Times bestselling author of nine books, including The Middlesteins, All Grown Up, and a memoir, I Came All This Way to Meet You: Writing Myself Home. She is also the creator of the annual online group writing accountability project #1000wordsofsummer, which inspired the recently published USA Today bestseller 1000 Words:A Writer’s Guide to Staying Creative, Focused, and Productive All Year Round. Her tenth book, publishing September 24, 2024, is A Reason to See You Again. She lives in New Orleans. You can find her online regularly at Craft Talk.